Not Your Average High School Love Story (Phan)
by ImNotSleepingYet
Summary: Phil is and has always been a boy who just tries to dissolve into crowds and become invisible. Dan a quirky boy who isn't afraid to stand up for himself and be different. As much as they seem like polar opposites, they have much in common. This leads to them becoming best friends. Soon feelings pop up and everything is messed up. Will it work out? Or will it crash and burn? Read t
1. First Day (1)

The first day of school was always the hardest for me. Maybe it was getting used to waking up early, or maybe the pressure of fitting in. Either way, I hated it.

As I drove to my first day of 10th grade the clouds loomed over me. Singling me to turn back or go home, and as much as I wanted to take their advice I knew what I had to do. I turned in all the right places and frowned when I got there.

No doubt about it my school looked like a prison: the grey building stood tall, each widow a perfect white shade pulled all the way down, a small fence surrounding it so intruders couldn't get it, and lastly the captives glumly waking in against their wills. My heart tore at the thought of the beatings this year would bring.

My black converse scraped the concreate that led to my jail. I kept my head down so I wouldn't draw attention to myself. As I jogged up the stairs as I heard him, "Oi! Fag, Come over here!" His voice boomed. I knew he was talking to me, being as I was the only gay kid in this school.

'Here we go.' I thought to myself. I looked up at him, his height was about the same as mine although his body popping with muscles making him seem much more intimidating and large. Then he did it, he smiled the grin that haunted my nightmares, "Have a nice summer faggot?" He questioned.

I try to stay calm and quiet. He fully knows that's not my name, but I don't correct him. I keep my head down to stay small or pitiful. As much as I hated it I knew pity was my only weapon. Sadly for me this man didn't know pity. "I said did you have a nice summer?" He screamed pulling me up by the collar of my shirt, practically ripping it.

"Y-yes J-Jason." I stuttered.

"O-oh r-really?" He said in a mocking tone. He pulled a fist up and I flinched. "I'm gonna beat the living shit out of you." He mumbled his voice harsh. "Would you like that fag?" He questioned a sly smirk played on his lips.

"No." I weakly stated.

"Too bad." His fist collided with my face. The pain spread through my body, but I stayed limp and silent. Before I could think to run his fist came back, this time harder. Red oozed from my nose and blurred my vison. "Ew, the fag bled on me." He dropped me to the ground like I was some sick, vile animal that he didn't want to infect him.

With one last blow to the stomach he left me there chuckling to himself. My peers walked around me like I was nonexistent. Each person walking by me, not helping breaking my heart.

This was how the year would start. I decided that I was done with my life and closed my eyes, listening to the footsteps that surrounded me. Sometime I fell asleep.

I woke up to someone running fast in the distance. "Oh shit, oh shit. I'm late on the first day. I knew I shouldn't have hit the snooze button." I decided not to get up as my body felt like it was just thrown into a blender. As his footsteps drew closer I heard him gasp. "Oh fuck! That's a guy. God what type of school is this?" He gaped. His feet stopped and he knelt down by my face.

"Hello?" The boy questioned. He poked my back. "Are you okay? Or at least alive?" He put his hands below me to pull me up. 'He must be new,' I thought. 'No one would stop to help Phil Lester: The school's gay.'

When he pulled me up I cracked my eyes open, my nose stung and my eyes hurt from the light. "Yeah, I'm okay." My voice responds without me thinking.

"You bled on yourself, mate." The mystery savoir says his voice smooth yet caring.

"Yeah, I feel it." I said. I got a good look at the boy in front of me. He had brown hair that seemed to flop over his right eye, the same as mine but opposite. His skin was pale and white, like mine. His eyes a deep brown, which made my heart flutter. I could say this guy could be the first real attractive male I had seen in months, and here I was, a bloody mess.

"Can I take you to the nurse?" He questioned his eyes scanning over me.

"Aren't you gonna be late?"

"You heard that? Well I'm already late, besides you need my help, lean on me." I slumped on his side and we walked together.

"I don't know your name yet." He stated.

"Phil Lester, you?"

"Dan Howell."


	2. Coming Out (2)

I was seated on the uncomfortable table in the Nurse's office. I thin paper used to 'protect' the kids who sat there from getting sick was ripping underneath me. I sighed. The nurse was out so we waited there. Dan was on a squishy chair adjacent to me. I envied him.

"Dan do you want to go to your classes? I'll be okay." I noted. He frowned at me.

"I'll leave when you get the dried blood off your face." He smirked. My hands shot up to my face. I touched gingerly around my nose. I doubted it was broken, but probably badly bruised.

"So Phil, do you have any siblings?" I laughed at his small talk. I normally hated it, but I wanted to get to know more about this Dan Howell. His outside was beautiful, so were his insides just the same? Then I got nervous. What if he was just using me? What if he'll beat me up or join the wrong crowd? I barely know him.

"Earth to Phil!"

"Oh sorry Dan," I could feel my face heat up. The tips of my ears were probably turning a light rosy pink. "Uh I'm an only child. How about you?" I questioned.

"Same as you." I noted that down in my mind.

"Favorite band?"

"Muse, you know of it?" I asked.

"It's literally my favorite band." I liked the way he said literally He made it sound like some faux word which was only his _Lit-tral-ly. _

We both smiled at each other I bet I could make this friendship work. Then I remembered no one wants to be friends with me. I didn't want Dan to be doomed to be a social outcast. I decided to warn him ahead of time.

I took a deep breath, "You have to be new."

Dan nodded at me. Then his face scrunched up in confusion, "Why do I 'have to be new'?" He questioned quoting me. I looked down at my hands. There was dried blood caked on from when I held my nose. It was a darkish red.

"Because you helped me." I mumbled.

"Why would it be wrong for me to help you?" He questioned. Fear etching his features.

"No one likes me because I'm-" The nurse walked in and I went mute. I looked over at Dan. He looked at me questioningly, but I ignored it. It had been a whole summer since I had seen the nurse. She still was a woman in her mid-forties who always had too much makeup or perfume on, but this time she had gotten a boob job. They perkily bounced as she walked across the room.

"Hello Phil," I'd been here enough for her to remember my name. "I'll get some cleaning stuff and be back in one second." She walked into the back store closet her perfume trail following suit.

Dan snapped his fingers at me to draw my attention back to him. "You're what Phil?" He whispered at me.

I looked Dan dead in the eye. "I'm gay." I said in a serious tone. He looked taken aback, but he didn't seem mad, which was good.

Then the Nurse came out of the closet, much like me only a few seconds before.

She set her supplies down next to me and got to work. It hurt when she cleaned my nose, but I was strong and didn't yelp in pain. The only unsettling thing was that Dan was quiet. I wished that I could have seen his face after I told him, but the nurse blocked my view.

After a while I felt clean again. She smiled at me like I was her just finished piece of art checking every part of my face to make sure she had finished.

When she stepped back to put her stuff away I was faced to see Dan. He had a large smile on. "You look better." He commented a smile set on his face.

"Wait, you don't hate me?" I asked. I turned my head to make sure I had heard him right.

He laughed, "No, do you think I'm a homophobic idiot? I don't care who you're into." He smiled at me. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I gave him a real smile, because that's what he deserved.

I checked the clock on the wall 11:32 he could make lunch. "Dan, I really think you should go eat lunch. You don't want me to be your only friend at this school." I knew as much as I wanted to keep Dan for myself, I knew it was wrong. "You said you'd go after my face was clean."

Dan gave me a sad glance. "I did, didn't I. Alright fine. I'll see you around Phil Lester?" He wanted to talk to me again. Attractive Howell wanted to see _me _again. I blushed.

"Yeah, totally." I responded. He flashed me a grin before he opened the door and walked out of my life. When he left the room felt empty.

The Nurse walked back in, "Oh, did your friend leave already?" She sadly asked.

"Yeah, I told him to go eat lunch." She lightly touched my face as I spoke. I could clearly see the layers of makeup she had caked on over the years.

"That's nice," She mumbled not listening to what I was saying. "You have some bruising on your nose, do you want concealer?" She questioned.

"Uh I think I'll pass, but thank you." I mumble as I walk out the door. I await the freedom that is soon to come. I wanted so badly to talk to Dan again. I really hoped the he wouldn't find another group of friends that he likes more than me.


	3. Lunch (3)

When I walked out of the Nurse's room I remembered that I was in my jail. The slim hallways turned like a labyrinth around me. I sighed as I unwillingly shuffled to the cafeteria. I watched my feet move one in front of the other.

I stopped when I heard the clamber of voices in the distance. I knew that the entire 10th grade would be piled up behind the two large glass doors that led to food. I could imagine the pushing and shoving to get to the top and be able to eat. I didn't see the hurry, as the food has the flavor and nurturance amount of cardboard.

As I approached the heap of teens I could make out conversations, "So, you're new then?" A voice asked.

"Uh, yeah. I came from London."

"That's why you're so posh!"

"Heh, yeah, I'm so posh."

I followed the voices around the corner, and just to my imagination it was Dan. He was standing with some tall boy. I had seen this boy around, he had never been mean to me or hurt me, and in fact I always thought his green eyes and curly hair were cool.

I stood a few feet behind them, not close enough for them to see me, but close enough for me to see them.

"So how'd you find your way around the school? I mean it's pretty large." Green Eyes asked.

"Phil Lester helped me, well, "He paused, "I guess I helped him. I took him to the nurse's office because he got pretty hurt."

"On the first day of school? Jason has no chill."

"Jason?" Dan questioned.

Green Eyes looked around nervously. "Jason is the tallest meanest junior you'll ever meet. He and his two goons practically run the school. Everyone does their bidding because they're too scared that they'll end up like poor Phil Lester. Phil reminds everyone that Jason is in charge."

"Why Phil?"

"Phil is an easy target. He doesn't fight back." Green Eyes frowned. "But you know he wasn't always like that. Phil used to be the kind of guy that would excel in classes and would always sit in the front. Then something happened around the summer of seventh grade. I don't know if anyone knows, just he was normal seventh grade come eighth he's just Phil Lester."

I could feel my stomach twisting and my hands becoming clammy. I shook my head to get the memories out. If I let them talk about me any longer I might throw up. I closed my eyes and lowered my head. Left foot, right foot.

Should I walk up to them? Dan probably wouldn't care, but I don't know about the other. I was debating on turning around when Dan yelled, "Phil, hey come over here!" I looked up surprised. 'Well now you don't have a choice.' I thought.

"Hey buddy!" He said to me looking into my eyes, trying to figure out my past. His brown eyes showed fear and confusion, but he was obviously trying to cover it up. "Oh Phil this is PJ." Dan said pointing at the now correctly named Green Eyes.

"I think we've met before, but It's been a while mate." PJ corrected. He held out his hand and I slowly shook it. I was proud of myself; I had made two friends already this year. That's two more than last year.

"You guys want to sit with me at lunch?" PJ questioned. Dan's face lit up.

"Oh yeah totally." Dan and PJ fist bumped. I wasn't so sure. I can't really hold up a conversation. It was a miracle that I talked to Dan without an awkward lull in the conversation. I think it would be best if I didn't make it weird and just say no. I'm sure they'd like it much better.

"How about you Phil, you up to it?" Dan asked.

"Uh, I don't know." I said looking at the floor.

"Oh come on Phil. I know you'll just sit in the corner by yourself if not. That's what you always do, so please?" PJ pushed. My face heated up with anger when he said that. He didn't need to say that in front of Dan.

"Fine." I looked up at them. Well technically down at Dan.

"Great. I sit around table three so just walk over there and I'll find us a good spot." We both nodded.

As if perfect timing the glass doors swung open and we were caught in the stampede. 10th graders of all sizes pushed and shoved. I allowed them to pass me by swinging me side to side as they got closer to the food. 'They are insane.'

When the cafeteria settled down a bit I made my way up to the pizza. It was around the only good food here. It still had a cardboardy flavor but the sauce made it more bearable. While I was waiting in the semi-long line I looked around. I made a mental note of which tables to avoid (Being Jason's and his crew) and which were okay. Luckily for me Jason was seated at 18 which a good distance from 3.

"Next." The tired lady spoke.

"Just two cheese slices please. She sighed and plopped them down. I grabbed my tray and went to get milk. The schools milk always made me feel a little queasy, but I normally ignored it. I didn't think I was lactose intolerant. It was probably just the weird kind that we had.

When I walked over to 3 I saw Dan and PJ whispering to each other. 'It's probably about me' I thought. As I got closer Dan spotted me and stopped talking to PJ. PJ looked confused until he also saw me. 'I was right.'

I decided not to bring it up as I set down my tray. "So what's up?" I started.


	4. Chris (4)

Dan's POV

I quickly got my food and ran to the table. I wanted to get there before Phil so I could ask more questions. He seemed so difficult and I wanted to know all I could about him. I had the possibility of making a new best friend. I wanted to help him as much as I could.

I mentally asked PJ to come quickly and luckily for me he did just that. "PJ, I have more questions about Phil." I whispered. He smiled at me but leaned in.

"What do you want to know?"

I took a deep breath and thought. "I want to know what he was like before eighth grade." He put his hand on his chin and stroked an imaginary beard. As much as I liked his humor I wanted answers before Phil came to the table.

"I couldn't tell you much, but I know someone who could." He said. I clung on to every syllable. "His name is Chris Kendall. He and Phil used to be very close. It will be hard to get your information though, because he became pretty popular after he left Phil."

I nodded. I'd need to find this Chris. One thing started bugging me. "Why did Chris leave Phil?"

"Once Phil came out around late seventh grade he started getting picked on. Chris didn't want that so-" I heard footsteps. 'Phil?' I lightly hit PJ and turned to greet him. I could see out of the corner of my eye PJ was confused. I still stay looking at Phil. To my relief PJ saw Phil and we both turned to him pretending like the previous conversation never happened.

He was nervous. His hands started to shake as he put his tray down. "So what's up?" He mumbled. I pitted him. I wanted to lean over and hug him.

Then I realized the awkward in the air. Everyone was looking at the other for something to say. "Uh. We were talking about the school's food!" He said as he pointed to Phil's pizza.

"Oh, uh, okay. I'm gonna go get a napkin. He said as he rushed away.

"Poor Phil." PJ spoke to himself. "Always so nervous of others."

"He saw us talking about him. We're terrible people." I groaned.

"No we're not. You were just curious. I was just giving you answers. We weren't saying anything bad about him." His logic was sound, but I still felt bad.

I watched Phil walk away to the table that stored all the silverware, napkins, condiments, etc. Until he blended into the crowd. I sighed.

When I met Phil earlier today I didn't know he'd be so mysterious and worrisome, but I'm glad I stopped to help him.

Phil's POV

They looked at each other nervously. "Uh. We were talking about the school's food!" PJ said pointing at my pizza. Dan looked over and nodded gratefully.

I looked down at my hands. 'I really hope they weren't saying anything bad about me.' I could feel myself getting nervous. My hands shook. And I couldn't think straight. "Oh, uh, okay. I'm gonna go get a napkin." I stumbled out.

I ran away to the table the stored all of the meal supplies. My breathing was ragged and uneven. I wanted to curl up into a little hole.

They probably hate me. They are probably just being nice. They'll just leave me like he did. I mean who could like a fag like me? Tears spotted my eyes but I slapped them away. 'I have to stop crying. You don't want the only two people who you can talk to seeing you red eyed and puffy faced.'

I grabbed a few napkins and started humming a few songs to get my mind off my doom that awaited me. That soon failed as I saw Dan waiting at the table looking around for me. I swallowed hard.

'You need to push back your conclusions. Dan and PJ are nice boys. I'm sure they wouldn't leave you. Well at least Dan wouldn't.' As I walked over to them I made a small wave. Dan smiled back to me while PJ looked around the room.

"What are you looking for PJ?" Dan asked.

"I'm looking to see if someone is here."

"Who?"

"Uh, no one." PJ stammered quickly. I turned my head to him in confusion. "Just a guy I need to work on a project with."

"You got a project on the first day? Which class so I can prepare myself. Also is this school hard on the education and learning" Dan asked. PJ's eyes widened.

"No, we barely ever do projects. Are you lying PJ?" I smirked at him.

"Yeah, but I just needed to see if this guy was here for Dan, I was talking about him earlier. He should help Dan with some troubles in maths." PJ said. I tried thinking of all the people in our grade who were good at math, Alfie maybe, but this didn't make sense.

"Then why are you being so weird about it." I questioned. I could feel my heart beat speeding up. It was a stupid thing to get worried about, yeah, but they were being weird and talking behind my back. I mean I barely know these guys. For all I know they could be planning with Jason about how to beat me up, but this time with some sick joke to make me feel like I could have had friends. Or maybe even worse…

"I'm not being weird about it."

"Yeah you are." I tried to stop my hands from shaking so I pick up my pizza.

"Come on let's not lie to him," Dan says. "He's looking for Chris Kendall." He says smoothly.

_Chris_

Fear shoots up my body and I feel like I want to throw up. I drop my slice of pizza and stand up from the table. I don't try to stop the tears that are streaming down my face or the shaking. I don't try to ask questions. All I can do is look down at the two seated in front of me. The confusion and fear that they both share glued to their faces. I needed to leave before I got worse. I quickly pulled back my chair and run out of the two glass doors.

'It doesn't make sense. Why? Why would Dan and PJ need Chris? I wanted him to make friends, but not him.' I find the nearest bathroom I can and run to the last stall. I duck into it and lock it. I drop to the floor feeling numb and lifeless. I tried to focus on my breathing but I couldn't. I just kept recalling Chris.

"Fag."

"Worthless."

"Kill yourself."

'_Deep breaths, it will be okay, but why? Why?'_

"Why?" I screamed.


	5. Aftermath (5)

Chapter 5

**Please Read This:**

**Hello wonderful Readers,**

** I've been going through some stuff at the moment, and it's been kind of hard to write and my ideas aren't my best. I'm sorry about this. These things I can't really control have been running my life for the past few weeks. **

** I'm fully aware that this chapter isn't my greatest and once things get better I will rewrite this so it's less crap. I probably wouldn't have posted anything, but I feel bad about the lack of chapters. So I give you this. I assure you I tried to make this as good as I could. **

**As always thank you so much for reading. It makes my day to see that other people think what I've written is good enough to look at. So I assure you I'll try. **

**You all are the real MVPs,**

**H **

I laid there shaking thoughts bouncing back and forth in my mind. Tears started to pool around me in a small lake. 'I've already missed the first part of the day, so I think I'll stay here for the rest of forever.' I thought.

"Maybe he's in here? Phil!" A voice yelled out. I slunk back into the stall. Fear shot me in the chest 'Maybe I can become invisible if I try hard enough.'

"Maybe he is. Check the stalls Dan." _PJ and Dan._ I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable.

I could hear his shoes clicking on the floor and the doors swinging open. "Phil, I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. _Please_." His voice was strained. As his shoes approached the stall next to mine I opened my eyes. When I saw his black shoes right next to me I held my breath. His shoes stopped in front of my door and the stall was pushed open. I saw Dan's face in horror. "Phil! PJ he's in here." He called to his left.

I covered my face. "Go away!" I whispered.

"Phil, come on." PJ lowered his hand to me. I waited there looking back at his hand and them.

"Just leave me alone please." I wanted them to leave. I wanted to be alone, but I also wanted answers. "Why do you need Chris?" I asked.

They looked at each other. "Uh help with maths." Dan said. Fear slapped me in the face but I still looked up at them. "That's a lie and you both know it. Just tell me." I slowly sat up.

"Uhm." PJ said.

'They are totally going to beat you up.' That's probably it. I'll just beg for mercy and hopefully they wont kill me.

"Just please don't hurt me." Hot tears slipped down my face.

"Is that what you think? We wouldn't hurt you." 'Liar, that's what _he_ said.'

"Then why do you need him?" I yelled. They looked stunned at my sudden outbreak. "Please, if this," I paused. "If this is some sick joke I want out of it." I said while shaking my head.

Dan took a step closer to me. All of my body told me to run, but my legs stood still. "Get back." I murmured. Dan's face flashed hurt and then I started to feel bad. 'It's all part of His plan Phil. How many times did he do that to you.'

"Phil, look, I'm sorry, just, please."

"Why were you looking for him?"

"Phil, I wanted to know stuff about Maths okay? I promise you." Trust him? No. Yes. No. Yes.' Something about the way Dan looked at me made me trust him. My mind was screaming no as I reached up for his hand. He smiled in a way that looked so real. He showed dimples that I didn't even know he had. Maybe Dan isn't like him.

"Thank you." He murmured. I just stared back at him.

'Phil, you're an idiot. Why do you think he will be any different if he's hanging out with Him. You know you're just going to get hurt again.'

I tuned out my mind and tried to feel happy because for what seems like the first time in forever I had friends.

As we walked out of the stalls I saw people watching me. 'Did I make that big of a scene?' I looked down at the grey flooring at my feet. 'Shit.' I might have had Dan and PJ by my side but now everyone is watching. I followed PJ and Dan unaware of where we were going.

"How long was I in there?" I asked.

"Around 15 minutes. So I think we have break." Dan said looking at PJ.

"Yep, good job Dan. He's learning so fast isn't he Phil?" I smiled at them and nodded.

"Good job Dan." I repeated. Dan looked over to me with happy eyes. Something about the way he looked at me made me forget the fact that just a few minutes ago I wanted to die. I felt fuzzy, but it was good.

Before I knew it we were pushing open the wooden doors that led to the courtyard. The courtyard was one of the only spots in the school that didn't make you feel like you were in prison. It was speckled with trees and benches.

I took a deep breath in and let the fresh air clean me. For what seemed like the first time in forever I felt really good. Little did I know that would change so soon…

**I'm sorry for the cliff hanger. Please don't hate me. If you're wondering why this isn't my best work look at the note above. Thank you all so much. I'll be back and better than ever next time. 3. **


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